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Holiday Q&A, Volume 2

Holiday Q&A, Volume 2. These questions come to use from "L"...

When to use a yiddish dictionary to your advantage.

Almost nobody speaks Yiddish anymore and there is no "land of Yid" so for all practical purposes, a Yiddish dictionary is completely useless. That said, there are some fantastically expressive Yiddish words that seem to fill gaps not covered quite accurately enough by English words. Words like putz, schmuck, dreck, schmendrick, schtup, schlep, shvitz, macher, schnozz, in fact you've probably been using some of these words an not realizing it all your life.

As for how to impress someone? Lookup a good Yiddish word no one has heard of, and use it in the right situation with someone who will be impressed by such things. It may help if the person is Jewish, or a writer, or from the Northeast U.S. Or all three.

Diapers, we start and end life wearing them. That's 85 years of technology to make them more stylish.

Okay. So this is more of a statement than a question. But...interesting, L. I hadn't thought of this, but it is pretty sad. I kind of hope I die the day before I have to start wearing diapers again. But that's just me.

What holidays do elves enjoy most?


Since elves have to work on Christmas, I'm gonna say definitely not Christmas. Probably New Years, simply because it's right after Christmas. If I was an elf, I'd make it a point of getting seriously effed-up on New Year's. The hard work is over for at least another couple months, and it's time to cut loose. Easter is probably also an elf favorite, because of all the egg-hiding and little candies and animal tie-ins. Those seem like things elves would enjoy. I don't imagine an elf has much interest in Veteran's Day, for example.

Was amazon named after the very thing it is destroying? (tree hugger love)

I never considered that, but it does seem like a deeply sad irony. And hey, keep in mind, Amazon sells a lot more than books, including loads of plastic stuff, which has to be shipped all over the world every day using fossil fuel...so it's destroying the whole planet, not just the Amazon!

There's actually a funny story about how Jeff Bezos arrived at the name for his company. Allegedly it was first called Cadabra, but Bezos decided to change in after a prospective investor mistakenly referred to it as "Cadaver."

Which animal will evolve next to rule the world, Herpes?

It seems like you're addressing this question to someone named "Herpes." Also, I would remind you that herpes is a virus, not an animal. It needs a host in which to live, or it can't survive. So that's out.

Secondly, whatever animal evolves next to rule the world is gonna have to like hot weather and be adaptable. Unfortunately reptiles are out. Those guys haven't changed in 50 million years or something. In fact, I think the word is going to be too hot for any one large animal to rule the world. I think insects, maybe cockroaches or killer bees or something, are going to take over. They breed fast enough to evolve super fast, and they're tough.

Will rogue one influence more boys to enter the military to fly modern fighter airplanes which look more and more like an xwing fighter! PShhhuu PShhhuu . (laser sounds) (laser dont have sounds so kids will be disappointed in real life)

I didn't see Rogue One, don't plan to, and don't really know exactly what it is. People have been asking some form of this question since the advent of video games. "Are kids going to start going out and shooting each other because they can do it in video games?" There's no easy answer. Gun violence is rampant in our society, but I think it has more to do with mental health combined with the availability of guns than video games.

Furthermore, flying a real-life fighter jet requires a uniqe combination of brains and balls that very few people have. Even people who are already in the military have difficulty getting those jobs. Playing video games, on the other hand, requires simply having fingers. I absolutely do not think that Rogue One will have any effect on military recruitment or people wanting to fly fighter jets.

And you're right. Lasers definitely do NOT have sounds, a sad realization that hits a young boy much harder than the realization that there is no Santa Claus.

BeeDEEEEEEEEEE . blahhhhh

BllaaaaaahhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

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Thanks for the awesome questions!!


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