Parties Without Music


Image result for No music


Begin Rant: There is an epidemic in our society and it's not the flu or the Ebola virus. No. This, my friends, is far worse. What is the problem?

People these days have parties without music.

Yes, it is true. I've been to several over the past six months and it's starting to really, genuinely freak me out. And let me answer the question that's probably already popping up in your head: No, this is not some kind of new aged "fad" or trend. If that were the case then maybe it would be excusable, but still probably not.

The fact is, when you have a group of people gathered together in a room to socialize over drinks and food you must have music playing. This should be codified into federal law. It doesn't even have to be good music. But you must have something playing in order to provide atmosphere, fill in the awkward gaps in conversation, liven things up, and -- at the least -- provide a "background noise" to prevent everyone else in the room from over-hearing the stupid theories you're spouting-off or to prevent you from being too tempted to eavesdrop on others who are having a more interesting conversation.

You can have a party without snacks.

You can have a party without booze (so I'm told).

But you cannot have a party without music.


Why has this happened? 


1.) The disappearance of stereo systems. I blame it on technology. In the 20th century, the stereo system -- like the TV -- used to be a main feature of most living rooms. TV. Couch. Coffee table. Stereo. If you walked into someone's home back in those days and you did NOT see at least some kind of stereo system, you assumed either it had recently been stolen or the apartment was a fake, set up by the FBI as the headquarters for a sting operation you were about to be caught-up in and you would promptly run out the door.

You had to have a stereo system if you wanted to play music. You had to at least have a radio. After all (going waaay back, here!) music was stored on physical objects back in those days; CDs, tapes, records. We can look back now and scoff at these out-dated forms of media, but they were part of our lives for decades and, furthermore, the devices used to play them were attached to speakers that had to be put somewhere and kept there like part of the furniture.

Fast forward about 20 years and even mp3 players and iPods have become antiques. People store and play their music on their phones now, attaching them to minuscule Blue Tooth speakers that emit sounds somewhat reminiscent of music but mostly sound like a cell phone playing music while sitting in an empty coffee can. In other words: music played off of cell phones sounds like sh*t, so why play it?

As you can see, it's a very easy jump to a phase in which people, lacking any other alternative, just say "Hell with it," and don't play any music at all.

2.) The proliferation of too many bands and too many different kinds of music. Now, this is not a bad thing in and of itself. This is actually a really good thing because now everyone can find a type of music specifically suited to their personal tastes. But it's also really bad because it has created a generation of music snobs. Back in the day you turned on the radio and you listened to whatever was coming out of it. Maybe there was the "alternative" station, or the "classic rock" station, or the "jazz" station, or the Top 40 station or whatever. But you could usually find something most people could agree upon. You turned on the radio. Music came out. Then you partied.

Then the internet and the Hipster came along, elevating music appreciation to a level previously only associated with Talmudic scholarship. At the same time, music snobbery was raised to a level that would make even the highest echelons of English Aristocracy look like snobbery amateurs. Play the "wrong" kind of music at your party and you are likely to be met with the same kind of judgement and disapproval as though you had just said that the Nazi party "did a lot of good for Germany." And the thing is, since everyone is now a bonafide music aficionado, with a musical allegiance approaching religious zealotry to a certain type of music, you are bound to offend someone.

Better off, then, to not play any music at all.

3.) People have forgotten how to party. This falls in the same category as, "It doesn't snow as much as when I was a kid," or, "Coca-Cola just doesn't taste the same any more," or "Cell phones are destroying society." Well...whatever. Next time you're at a party with no music, figure out a way to put some on. Anything people will agree on. Music enlivens and invigorates people. And parties are about getting enlivened an invigorated. Music is the grease between the gears of a party. So grease up and have a good time cause it's not the grease that matters it's the gears.

Comments

Unknown said…
AMEN. Could not agree more.

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