Parker (2013)

So this is an action movie starring Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte, the guy from "The Commish," and a few other "hey I know that guy from somewhere" type actors. 

The movie is loosely based on the Parker novel series by Richard Stark. Personally, I only ever read Parker the Hunter, years ago, and my one takeaway from the book was: Parker is a badass.

Let's get something out of the way: I love Jason Statham. Ever since Snatch (2000) he's been kind of a personal hero. You don't get so see many bald badasses on screen these days. And as a bald man who is very much not a badass, I kind of look up to him. He gives us balds a Leader. 

The film itself is pretty damned good. The plot holds up. The action is good. Statham crushes it as the impossible-to-kill tough guy / righteous outlaw. 

Then, we get to J-Lo. Her role in this movie is kind of weird. I mean, to be honest I kind of forgot about her as a movie star over the years. But now I remember...namely that she's smokin' hot and completely steals the scene any time she's on camera. She's way, way too much for this film. And we're supposed to buy her as this frazzled, unsuccessful real estate agent. Furthermore, she and Parker don't even hook up in the end! It's almost like she doesn't belong in this film. She's an alpha female, cast in a beta type role. Yet somehow it still works.